It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
