only if we run a train.
done.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize