I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
