Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
