i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
