can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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