WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
