meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
babies were throwing up all over the place
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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