did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
