I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
