No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize