The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
