she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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