id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
