I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize