I'm lost and stupid without you.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.