Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles