The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
