saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes