I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge