you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?