Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
