i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
