I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
there is glitter all over my balls
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
