I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
