he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
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When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
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I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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