she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize