Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
