hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize