Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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