I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
