My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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