Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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