The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize