Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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