Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
