She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
