I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
