gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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