i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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