I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
