so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
now i know why i became what i already was.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
