tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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