the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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