Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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