I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
