well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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