So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
