hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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