the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
