im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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