Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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