I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
