so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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