Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
