god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
