I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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