Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
