I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
