my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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