Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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